Review (2010): The Social Network: I would friend it :)


Whatcha wanna bet Andrew Garfield wants to throw a Spider-Man web on Jesse Eisenberg’s face?

The Social Network (PG-13, 2 hours): In the theater, my feet are propped and the smartphone is tucked into my bermuda shorts.

In silent mode, of course. My wife is schoolmarm strict about this.
A few minutes into the movie, the phone vibrates. Ooh, someone has posted on my Facebook profile. Then another little buzz. Then another.

WTH? I can’t concentrate on this fine movie because Facebook is going on without me. My mind races. How can I check my status updates? We already checked the RunPee app, so bathroom-break excuses won’t fly. The vibrations continue. Maybe it’s a new friend. Maybe someone liked my Uncle Rico comment. My pulse races. WHAT ARE THEY POSTING?!?

Finally … we need a popcorn refill. I pull out the phone, head to the hallway and realize … WTH? It was a bunch of spam.

Rats! Nothing. 😦

I returned to my seat and my wife tells me what I missed.

“Yeah,” I reply, trying to make conversation as I hear stuff about the movie I had already learned on Facebook. “This Facebook stuff is addicting.”

We look at each other and LOL!

• THE PLOT: The focus is on Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg) and his legal battle to claim ownership of an idea born from his computer programming genius and his recognition of what brings people together. Along the way, we learn of his motivations and how others want to share in ideas that might or might not have been his own. It has some star power with Justin Timberlake playing Napster creator Sean Parker. And lots of beer parties.

• MY RANT ON ZUCKERBERG: Yes, he left close associates in his wake. But this billionaire-dollar social-media concept could not be harnassed and packaged with traditional, tie-it-in-a-bow marketing. It was bigger than Zuckerberg himself. Bigger than everybody, really. You have to think that at one of those moments when he stares off in the distance as others ponders his motives, he still hears them while mind-playing the potential of crowd-source development of Facebook. And what kind of conventional marketing strategy would ever make that viable? </rant over>.

• BABY BOOMER/NICK AT NITE MOMENT: When the Harvard security chief is roused from bed with a late-night call about a breach caused by Zuckerberg, old-timers like me will recognize a familiar face. It’s Barry Livingston … Ernie Douglas. You know! Of My Three Sons. The kid with the thick glasses. He only gets a few seconds, but it doesn’t stop me from humming the My Three Sons theme the rest of the day.

• REASON TO SEE IT AGAIN: The Winklevoss twins (are as Zuckerman slyly points out, “the Winklevi”) are not really twins. That’s the face of Highland Park’s own Armie Hammer digitally imposed on Josh Pence’s body. Creepy.

• BEST TIME FOR A BATHROOM BREAK: RunPee indicates several times, but the rapid Tarantino-esque dialogue is not easy to digest and often requires full attention.

• TAKE YOUR KIDS? It’s not that bad. They’ve made a movie about a social-media outlet fast-paced and the geeks dynamic. While some adults might see a backstabbing opportunistic college kid, this new generation will see an Ivy League genius who defied convention and rode the crest of some basic ideas to a billionaire-dollar concept. It could make for some interesting post-movie discussion in the mini-van.

• WHAT’S NEXT: I’m waiting on the Twitter movie in which no line of dialogue is more than 140 characters.

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